2 under 2

Now that I am officially a momma of two under two, I often find myself being asked how I'm coping. So here's my thoughts on how we're coping? Well, it is obviously busy. But the truth is life felt busy before I had two. Heck, it felt busy even before I had one. Its just busy in a new way, which I for the most part expected. Team bum changes are a common everyday occurrence. Feeding them is also very time consuming. I feel like I feed one, then the other, then the other, then the other... you get the point. But we seem to find time for most things and are managing. Maybe even doing better than just managing :D

One thing that has surprised me is how much more guilt I have this time around. I feel this mostly when I don't 'feel' like i have it all together. There are the inevitable times when I am doing one thing with one, and the other needs me - but since I am only one, I can't do it all. Say I'm nursing Ryan and Grady wants to be read to, or say I'm making Grady lunch and Ryan is happily laying alone on the floor again for the third time that day... and other such situations. I keep telling myself that my kids aren't the first to have to share their mommy, but it still bothers me sometimes that I can't do it all.

I've also been surprised at how much more lonely/isolated I feel this time around. With only one child, we were incredibly mobile. If we were bored, we'd whip out and go do something. We swam, we signed up for music classes, we had lot of play dates, we cruised the mall... basically we had the freedom to do whatever and still be home in time for naps and meals. With two in tow its simply not that easy. I've been trying to fill the gap by finding programs that are possible with two and that are closer to home. But still, I feel a bit of a void in this area, and am finding that making meaningful connections with other mom's in my area is difficult. But I'm trying, and hope that with the spring comes new life for us in this area.

Overall though, the answer the question 'how are you doing' is very positive. Even on a bad day, I still feel blessed every time I look at my little men. They are light in this world, and I know that I am lucky to be witnessing their growth daily. Sometimes when I sit back and really watch them I am blown away at their potential and the possibilities they have to change the world.

Well its currently 9:45 and we've been working on getting Ry to sleep for around 2 hours. SO, I better call it a night and go rock my little man some more.